Feb 01 2011

The Tale of the Olive Pit

I just heard/read the most ridiculous story that I just HAVE to share it with you. What’s most important is not its ridiculous plot but the fact that every word I tell you is true! This is much more than another political blog although a politician is the focal point of this story, this is a calamity on a major scale. This one isolated story (of I hope there will be only one) is proof that politicians just don’t understand that our nation is broke! Let me try to tell this story as I wipe the tears from my eyes from the laughing out loud so hard I couldn’t help but cry. I do hope you get a good laugh out of this story first then realize just how many steps backwards it brings us when it comes to common sense decisions.

Back in April of 2008 a man bit into a sandwich wrap and his took splits in half, down the middle, to the bone. The cause? An olive pit. The man decided to sue the creator of said sandwich for damages and emotional distress in the amount of $150,000!! Really sir?! What’s even more ridiculous, as I mentioned earlier, is that this man is not only a member of congress but his website deems him as, “America’s Most Courageous Congressman.” Now I might not have the new definition to word courageous as it pertains to him because in my book a courageous man would not seek $150,000 in damages because a pitted olive was placed in his wrap. I’m sure it was not done on purpose. I’m sure the person who made the wrap did not have malice or pre-meditated tooth injury on his/her mind. As funny as that is what is simply knee slapping is the letter this congressman sent to his supporters. He really wrote the words I am about to relay to you right now. Please read them carefully and challenge yourself NOT to laugh out loud when you do so. This is not the letter in its entirety but it’s enough to get the gist of what I’m trying to convey.

Rep. Dennis J. Kucinich (D – Ohio) Letter: (this was borrowed from this source)

The subject line: “Regarding Settlement of Dental Injury Law Suit.”

“When I bit into the olive pit, [unbeknown to me at the time], upon impact the tooth split in half, vertically through the crown and the tooth, below the level of the bone,” Kucinich wrote in his e-mail to supporters. “Externally there was no evidence of a break. This was not about aesthetics. The internal structure of the tooth was rendered nonrestorable. Although the pain was excruciating, I shook it off and I went right back to work.

“This tooth is a key tooth which anchored my upper bridgework. The injured tooth and the bone above it became infected. I took a course of antibiotics for the infection, had an adverse reaction to the antibiotics which caused me to have an intestinal obstruction and emergency medical intervention.”

Kucinich kept going: “Later, my dentist referred me to a specialist who informed me that the damaged tooth had to be removed. A third dentist removed the tooth and I was fitted for a temporary partial. I waited for the bone to heal.”

And going: “An implant was placed, but it failed. Many months later still a second implant succeeded. My bridgework had to be completely reconfigured, a new partial was designed, so this injury did not affect only one tooth, but rather involved six (6) replacement teeth as well. A new crown with a new precision attachment was engineered and put in place.”

And going: “To clarify, no dental expenses were covered by any health plan, nor did I have dental insurance that covered the injury, which, until it was resolved, affected my ability to chew food properly.”

“I don’t want to have to make another dental visit for a very long time,” he wrote, “and will be making no further comment on this matter.

“Thank you very much,” he signed it. “Dennis.”

Now I’d love to see the liberal media spin THAT one! First of all Mr. Kucinich, thank GOD I’m not in Ohio and received that ghastly letter. I do not desire to know the amount of surgeries you had or whatever pain and suffering it caused you and your six teeth. I do, however, care when you decide to ask for an absurd amount of money in return. Quite frankly I don’t feel anyone other than yourself should pay the dental expenses. You must have REALLY been hungry sir to chomp down so hard as to split your tooth. I’ve bitten down on some hard as rock things in my day but I’ve never suffered to the lengths to which you described in your letter. I would say I feel sorry for you. But my sorrow ran out three years ago for the brief 10 minutes time that I would have felt such an emotion. There are more pressing matters to discuss. If you were going to send out an email at all it should NOT have been about your damn teeth issues! How about a letter about your ideas for creating jobs in your state? I’m sure you’ve got green jobs your just dying to talk about don’t cha? Oh come on sir, don’t be shy, share the wealth?

I would like to say how glad I am the matter is settled three years later about your teeth now that all the surgery is done. But do us all a favor old man, relax on the reckless chewing, and the next time you want to inform your supporters about your drab life, DON’T! You can’t take back something once you’ve written it and send it out for hundreds to read. Grow a brain genius and act like you know we live in a country and a time where shelling out $150,000 for nonsense is not the way to become a role model. But I’m sorry, I’m presuming you have ambitions of being a role model. Perhaps you are setting your sights a bit lower. Like auditioning for the cowardly lion in the future Ohio theater production of The Wizard of Oz?

Now run and tell that!